Boys Night
by salmoncarppacio007
Summary: Desmond and Shaun have trouble sleeping, so they decide to do some stuff to pass the time  nothing gay Oneshot


**Boys Night**

It was a quiet night in Monterrigioni, the tourists went inside their hotels and into their worm comfortable beds after a long day of shopping and the other stuff that tourists do. That was not however the case with the team of Assassins that were inside the Auditore Villa.

In the big round room stood many proud figures, statues of heroic Assassins from long ago. 4 people were inside their sleeping bags, cradling and struggling to sleep. After a few hours Rebbecca and Lucy finally fell asleep.

A man with a white jacket rolled around in his sleeping bag, obviously struggling to sleep. He stopped rolling and looked at another man beside him.

"Hey Shaun."

Shaun did not respond.

"i know your awake Shaun."

"oh yeah? I know I'm awake too! And surprisingly, that doesn't help me get to sleep!" Shaun yelled.

"i can't sleep man, let's go do something." Desmond said ignoring Shaun's response.

"like what Desmond? You wanna play with rocks? Eh? Do you? Cause that's what we have in here! bloody rocks!" Shaun said even more annoyed.

"not necessarily." Desmond said smiling and pointing at the red chair in the middle of the sanctuary.

Shaun lifted his eyebrow. "what ever happened to 'i don't think Lucy would want us messin' with the Animus'?"

"Lucy's asleep, and i don't think there would be any risk just to use it for a while." Desmond said.

"are you out of your bloody mind?"

"come on, don't you wanna know what your ancestors are like?"

"of course i-" Shaun paused and ponders for a moment.

"i guess it wouldn't hurt just to sneak a peek." Shaun said with a smile upon his face.

Desmond and Shaun got up from their sleeping bags and creeped into the Animus.

Desmond hooked Shaun into the Animus and sat on Rebbecca's seat.

"how do i do this?" Desmond asked.

"just click on 'search Genetic memory'" Shaun said

"Okay got it."

"in there you'll find the genetic memory of my available ancestors, what do i got?"

"well there's some guy named, Peter Wilkinson, Seda Andis, Shaun Higgins, Shaun Fenton, Shaun Johnson, Shaun prowlins-"

"wow, my Ancestors are really creative with their first names now aren't they?"

"How about this one?"

"What's th-" Before he could finish his sentence his vision went white and he could feel he was being transported into someone else.

Meanwhile Desmond is trying to stop himself from laughing, because he just clicked on the memory of John Lennon.

A few minutes passed...

"Gahhh..." Shaun awoke and was gasping for breath.

"Shhhh! What happened?"

"oh! Bloody hell! It was terrible! Everybody was throwin' bloody tomatoes at me! Then, i got desynchronized i guess."

"how?"

"i think i failed the guitar solo on 'a hard day's night'."

Desmond laughed hard.

"Shhh! You'll wake up Lucy and Rebbecca."

"so what now?"

"i don't know...let's go to the town."

"for what?"

"i dunno, what about we go to the pub."

"what the fuck's a pub?"

"you know, a place people go to drink and what not, what do you Americans call it? Oh yes! A bar!"

"you wanna go to a bar?"

"it's either that or play with with rocks."

"to the bar it is then!"

Later inside an Italian bar called the 'Pezzo di Merda'

"hey look at the sign." Desmond said to Shaun while pointing at the sign above the door.

"the Pezzo di Merda, what about it?"

Desmond smiled. "nothing."

They went inside and sat on the round seats.

"ah.. this takes me back."

"to when you spit the glasses and wipe them and serve angry drunk people alcohol?"

"you're right, i hate that job."

Then the bartender came, he was very tall with...you know what? I don't like describing my characters, so i'll just say he has a beard.

The bearded man came up to them with a note pad and a pen ready.

"_**che cavolo vuoi?**_" he asked

"what did he say?" Shaun whispered.

"i dunno."

"what do you mean you don't know? Haven't Ezio visited a bar before?"

"no, he's to busy killing people."

"say something!"

"what do you want me to say?"

"anything!"

"fine! Umm... _**Con chi.. credi di parlale, porco?**_"

Later...

"Ouch!" Desmond said as he dropped onto the cold wet Italian pavement.

"what the bloody hell did you just say Desmond?"

"i don't know!"

"great now what are we gonna do? We don't have any beer!"

"wait! I have an idea!"

Shaun lifted his eyebrow curiously.

Even more later...

"Catch!" Desmond said as he threw a pebble at Shaun.

"wow you're a genius Desmond, play with rocks, brilliant! What are you a tiny child?"

"hey! It's not like we have anything better to do!"

"we would have! If you didn't mutter all your Italian in front of that bartender."

"hey! I didn't even want to go to a 'pub' besides you know what that place was called?"

"what?"

"the piece of shit, literally!"

"gahh! I hate this place!" Shaun said throwing a large rock at Desmond.

Desmond dodged the rock and instead it hit Lucy's iPhone.

"oh boy." Shaun said.

"oh boy? Oh boy? She's gonna fuckin' kill us! She loved that phone!"

Desmond said throwing another rock at Shaun. Shaun dodged it and instead it hit Rebbecca's Mp3 player.

Both of their faces went pale.

"i think it's better if we just sleep."

"agreed."

And so they slept, and waited for morning to come and for the girls to slaughter them.  
>oh how a terrible night this has been, but they both learned a valuable lesson. 'don't ever play with rocks.'<p>

**The End**

**Please Review, Thanks  
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**Italian dictionary:**

****Che cavolo vuoi?**: What the Hell do you want?**

****Con chi credi di parlare, Porco?: who do you think you're talking to, pig?****

****Pezzo di Merda: Piece of Shit  
><strong>**


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